Back from Nepal.

at Chisapani, Nepal

Back from the Amazing Nepal. I feel a little nostalgic. And i remember almost ever face of people whom i cross path with. Everything just feels so familiar. There is an unusual beauty about that country that well leave me feeling enchanted. If Nepal was a person i would say, it is rich inside, but somehow dress in rags and trekking shoes. But it has a very deep sense of beauty in her, kind, demure, a little raw, but charming and honest. Always willing to help, hospitable and shy but brave.

Its crazy from arriving there, to trekking around 17km to the mountains to live in a village with locals, then the next morning trekking another 20km to Nagarkot where it was worth it. Really worth the walk. I thank my tour guide Raj who had to deal with me, and was always helpful. During that two days you see so much of Nepal, the outskirts and villages. The farmers of the hills. Its like Gods just places everyone everywhere, and life is somewhat similar but different everywhere! Its just so amazing and it just makes you feel so, like, you don't really know what to make out of it. But i guess wherever we are we can be thankful to God. There are blessings of many kinds.

I have recently taken up an illustration gig but i feel that i am being underpaid. I do not like doing work when i am underpaid because i know that i have high standards and will deliver well. I like to receive what i deserve. Maybe this with teach me better how to pay people in the future when i have to pay people. That people are always happy to work, and they are paid sufficiently, and if they work hard and are quick, doesn't mean i should make use of them and pay them less, but give them bonus for their great work. I would say its not easy to give, but it is a lesson to learn each day, to be generous. Also, to stand up for what you feel is fair. To never accept less than you deserve, not because you are too proud, but because you know you are worth as much as not to be used. And that you can always trust God to provide. Even if you loose a gig because they do not want to pay you fairly.

Since going into freelancing and starting a little business i see how hard it is to make decisions, but i guess slowly i will get better. And learn and improve each day, I want to learn in a way whereby i become a better person in it, and not to learn to be cunning, cut corners or make profit selfishly. And that slowly i may bear fruits in my work ethics, attitude, character and reputation, but of course it takes time and i won't be so good overnight.

Sometimes i get afraid like why did i choose this path, i feel like i am struggling and that its hard to make ends meet. Plus i have no idea how to do business and now to market. But i was reminded by a good friend that we must continue to Hope in God and that He will always provide in His timing. That in all our weakness, He will sustain us and be our Lord and Provider. 

I pray that even though i may not make the best decisions but that God knows my heart and He will help to sustain me in all areas, and that i must continue to seek Him and trust Him and spend time with Him.

Since Nepal also my thoughts have change on certain things, my heart goes out to the Nepalese workers who come all the way to Malaysia to work all these hard labor jobs just to make a living and to support their family back home, of how beautiful things they can create yet so poorly they be paid, how hard it is to make a living, and how important it is to work hard. I also have a deeper love towards Asia now, i love Asia, we have a hidden beauty not one exposed like the West thats all glitzy and 'cool'. I think Asia is beautiful in all its imperfection.

And about guys, my thoughts of them always change. My list when i create them always change too hahaha. I use to think it would be exciting or interesting to marry someone from a different country, somewhere from europe or something, how it would be cool if i met someone from so far away yet be able to find a common ground and connect. But now i don't really care anymore where he from, a home boy, from somewhere else, anywhere i don't really bother, but somehow i also don't know how it would be for me to live with someone like share my life with someone. Because i have been mainly independent, stubborn and strong willed i honestly have no idea who will be able to handle me. Though somehow i think, perhaps there will be someone out there who will understand me so well that he would know the wisest way to deal with me. And vice versa. And we would go together, like salt and pepper.

So in this post i have covered my travels, my job struggles and about a man.

Life aye. Perhaps we learn the most when we struggle, we appreciate better when we lack, and our faith fuels in desperate times.

In all my weakness, God sustain me. Amen.