Oh Hello! Its been long

So i would most likely be the only one reading  this blog now but thats ok. :)

Was just thinking how women are much more beautiful when they possess a gentle and quiet spirit. And how much more respect they can gain if they just stop trying to be a voice, only because action speaks much louder than words and a women who can restrain her mouth from talking and instead win those around her with her gentleness and humility shows much more. Even my ears get tired and my spirit grow weary when i am with women who talk so much!! And i realized that it just doesn't make them appear wiser even though they think to be so. There is a beauty in silence, and words softly spoken . Few but with weight.

I did not see it this way until i met Godly women showed me by them being so. And i would want to grow into this type of women :)

Oh thats all for today! Till i see you again dear bloggy!

just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve.

pathway to the Ati school!

“There was a rich man who was clothed in purple and fine linen and who feasted sumptuously every day. 20 And at his gate was laid a poor man named Lazarus, covered with sores, 21 who desired to be fed with what fell from the rich man's table. Moreover, even the dogs came and licked his sores." 

- Luke16:19-21

How many times we who live a comfortable life live like the rich man! We keep looking at what we can have and want that we do not even see the needs of those who have real need and are suffering. and time after time we deny that we are like the rich man, so many times we make stupid excuses that this verse actually means this and that, but no. Its talking to all you people who have more than God gives to bless others. Not others who already have and to just give out of generosity to show your kindness to them, but to those who can't pay you back. Those who have a real need! 

Heck to be honest, before coming here to the Philippines i have been like the rich man. Living like He did everyday. I was no different. Only now after taking this step to live as a pilgrim, so many things in the Bible speaks so me so clearly. So many things i did not understand, i now do!

This earth is not our home, we have to remember this. And work for the Lord. After meeting the American missionaries Tori and Dan, and seeing how they live, i can see what its like to be a missionary, it is not rosy, its dirty, messy but worth it. It takes denial of self and sacrifice. They do not live for themselves or personal gain, they live to give! There is nothing luxurious or fancy about the way they live. Simple, wartime mentality.

And i met a few of the teachers who would be teaching the Ati kids, and these teachers came from different parts of the Philippines which God just brought together who has the same heart and desire to serve and sow to this community. I met Aqullino, who came from Tacloban, his hometown was hit by the typhoon. Its crazy how he mentioned during the typhoon everyone in his hometown thought it was the end of the world. Everything was destroyed, he had to swim through a sea of dead bodies, dead animals and destruction. And there he say everyone rich and poor brought to the same ground level zero. Everyone was the same, no one can escape death. We come with nothing, we go with nothing. What are you living for? Who are you living for?

So i asked him if he viewed life differently after that experience, and i guess this gave him the heart to reach places in need. If everyone just lives for themselves to make their life better and better, building their wealth, their barn, what about those in need? who is going to care for them? who is going to teach them? Are they not to receive good? If we are God's child are we living like He is the King??

Everytime i read the new testament, the apostles always start of by mentioning they are a bondservant of Christ and this really touches me. Its all about servanthood. If we are God's children are we living like the King who came to the earth to make Himself nothing so even poor us, who were once corrupted to and sentence to death could have eternal life?

It is a humbling experience asking for support.

I don't like to ask.. and it is humbling to ask for support.

GOD WILL PROVIDE!!!

I am a little anxious about my providential support. financially as i am basically a missionary now!? Even without thinking i would be one. But I really believe i have been called! So , HERE I AM!

But nonetheless, my faith and my confidence rest in my God who would never fail to supply for me and provide for me! He will meet all my needs according to the riches of His Glory. I have not posted any of my blog post on fb or any public sites so,. well if you happen to come to my blog and feel a desire to support me, i would be delighted to receive support from you! But i commit it all to my God and Lord Jesus Christ, to meet all my needs in His timing and His ways!. He will provide, He will! If He has called me to do missions work, He will feed me, cloth me , house me and meet all my needs! He has promised me this :) Thank you Jesus and may i rest in you to supply.

GOD HE WILL PROVIDE!!!!!

FAITH INDEED CAN MOVE MOUNTAINS!!!

I always knew God will provide!!, before coming to B* which i already had the burning desire to reach out to the kids. And the thought just keep on my mind, and impressed my heart. That after a few days coming back from B* which i went on vacation with friends, i knew i wanted to go back and must. The doors also kept opening with immediate responds from the people i contacted over here. ( And also considering their internet connection is so slow, and technology is not big ) So i decided to sign up for a TEFL course. ( I didn't think it necessary, but i guess it was something that gave some what a sense of security and friends and family would be like more understanding and acceptive, which i figured now, wasn't really important at all. It was already strange telling people i was going to B*.. and not really having a plan conceived )

So, anyway, long story short. TODAY is my 3rd day here, and i met up with T*, she is a missionary here with her husband and they do mainly ministry to the children in poverty, providing free education as well as food! ( I didn't really know this prior to contacting her on email, all i knew was that she was a pastor, which she isn't really but a missionary ! ). She and her husband were also teachers for 20 years before starting to do mission work!!! Its so amazing to see that because i am also a teacher turn missionary! I can't believe i am a missionary now!, I've always wanted to, but i never did know how.

At first i decided to find a job here while doing missions, but after talking to Tori, i realized that with the work needed to be done, i would have to commit full time and be a missionary! Its so amazing, after talking to her for a few long minutes, she offered me a place to stay for quarter the price and also will guide me along the way for becoming a missionary as well as how to gain financial support as i would mainly be working for free. And that God will provide. And i believe i will learn so much from them. Suddenly everything just came into place! I am unbelievably grateful to God! Even though the room which they will be giving me is not the nicest.. i guess mission work is not about getting the best for myself but humbly be glad and receiving :) May God teach me to be content in all things!

Tomorrow i move in with the B's !* Till then :) Thanks for reading!~

Fool for Christ.. who's fool are you?

“That's the excitement in obedience, finding out later what God had in mind.” 
― Brother Andrew .

“Why are we worried!" Rolf said suddenly. "This is God's work. He'll make a way for us.” '

“You can get in anywhere if you go to serve.

“In the years of living this life of faith, I have never known God's care to fail.” 

“Of course it's dangerous. But it's a lot more dangerous for all of us if we don't do it. Even in a conquering army there are casualties. Safety is not the issue when we look at the Great Commission. The purpose of the church cannot be to survive, or even to thrive, but to serve.” 

“I experienced one of the common miracles of the Christian life. Our spirits recognized each other.” 

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If you are following Christ, leave selfishness behind and carry faith. God can't work in a person that is full of getting things for themselves. But have faith that God will supply all your needs, and that He will lead you to His kingdoms purpose, where He will work on you, building your character, testing your heart, as well as to work through you to fulfill the great commission. 

This pilgrimage is a journey in which Christ is the map.

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Was just thinking about all that i have lost while laying down fashion... fame, a name, appraise of men, riches.

for ultimate peace, rest, a heart to serve, being able to follow Christ without distractions or holds in of worldly affair. As much as it would be nice to design beautiful clothes, be known for it, be praised by people, gain riches to meet all my senses. Somehow i believe, its much gain, through the eyes of faith, looking up to my Father who's promises are sure and true, i have lost nothing, but gain everything in relations to eternal life! So let me continue to stay in the narrow path, this race of faith and not waver in my hope, and in a price much better than this earth can ever satisfy! God is good to those who seek Him, to those who puts their Trust in Him!

last minute.

last minute packing my things and all. And as i was folding my clothes into the luggage, a little sigh was let out, " ah,... no more Zara, no more commercialism. " At least while in old Florence, Italy there was Zara and Forever 21. Being in a place that has not much commercialism would be a huge change, i believe a good one, and will strip me to the basic necessities of life.

even though anxiety creeps in now and then, a huge rest upon my heart, a peace from the Lord that reminds me that He is holding me, and He has everything under control. I was giving a student of mine an advice for school , to just give her best , and rest in God. She in return told me to remember to do the same, how timely, at times i even forget to take my own advice! How lovely when it is your student who reminds you to " remember to help the less fortunate especially the non Christians and introduce them to God's word while in the * " May my heart be focused on doing what i must as a daughter of a heavenly place.

I will dearly miss my beloved grandparents. Yesterday while having lunch with my uncle and aunty, aunty exclaimed " so you are going to be a tentmaker "... and i was like , yeah ( i had an idea that it was what Paul did, but i wasn't really acquainted to the term). A tentmaker is actually someone who goes to a foreign land , working in a job while focusing on missions, in a way supporting themselves financially to do God's work instead of being dependent upon the church. And Yes! That is exactly what i have set my heart to do :) In a way it makes me free to serve God as He wishes, not being a burden to anyone and is not tied down to any denominations, Oh how can the body of Christ be divided into denominations!

Somehow i know a lot of my Christian friends may be skeptical of me and stuff, but to me, honestly it matters little. I may not be the most perfect Christian, but i know my God is working in me. What is more important is what God wants, desires, and to obey. God will let His light shine through me and waiting upon Him, running this race of faith with perseverance would never be in vain.