As November Fades

perhaps i should start drawing illustrations instead of just taking photo's off the net :)

The end of November seems to pass by rather quietly, as all of a sudden everyone starts to slow down. Perhaps to ponder  and contemplate on the past 11 months of this glorious year or busy with their own little agenda's of end year closure. ( or all this may be more so in my world )

Maybe it is the month we get a little more relaxed, and start to wind down a little in preparation of a hectic end year of party and celebrations. November. It feels like autumn to me, even though i am living in the tropics where we do not have leaves turning crunchy red, but instead, spontaneous rainfall of the monsoon wind.

As of me, i feel like suddenly i have not much to say but is rather in a contemplative mood, getting my hands dirty making things, reading and getting into the groove of the new season. It would be a bit of a change, and i do want to adjust smoothly, effectively and productively.

I am rather enjoying the days, savoring the moments and using them to its greatest joy. I hope Time loves me and how i spend him as much as i am thankful for his company. If time was a person, what would you do with?

Childhoodflames.

They say childhood flames won't last. But i'll like to convince you that they do.

I remember 12 years old, stumbling upon a book of fashion illustrations. It inspired me and i got hooked. I am going to be a Fashion Designer, i told myself. And from then onwards, i practiced drawing figurings.

Somewhere along the way in High School, the world started to break into my bubble. People asked, "What would you like to be when you grow up?" " Perhaps a Pharmacist, a Missionary, or an Architect. " would I reply, while furiously sketching on the table or textbook sides. ' A pharmacist she said? ' they left confused, wondering why.

Then after college the opportunity came to decide the fate of freedom's way. Paths of many kind came to say Hi. Science, Maths, Humanities they cried, "learn with us, you'll make a living, we promise, its safe to try". But only when my eyes fell upon Fashion Design, my heart gave a tug, and i felt i had no choice. Its do or die.

And then came the disapproval from the parents eyes. No, He is too poor, He won't be able to provide. Look at Accounting , He is a far better guy. Deep down, I knew my heart wouldn't lie. So i unwillingly gave in to authority, and gave Science and Humanities instead a try. Persevered i did, and never gave up, my heart still whispered Fashion Design. So i asked and asked till Dad said, " Okay, do what you like."

So i left! With heart filled with joy, i planned and located a place we shall meet. Sydney we met and the courtship began. The First year was the hardest but was surely a ride, we had lots to learn about each other, the seasons definitely wasn't dry. The Second year much better, we tops excellence in innovation together. the Third was a struggle, i was distracted, by Missionary's humility and selfless life. Even so, we manage to pull through, and won 2 competitions and a vacation to Florence, the heart of Italy, where passion and art brought beauty to life.

I started to neglect Him because i felt the need to learn more from Missionary, and that journey lead me to teaching and giving and learning of life. Perhaps i was too young for marriage that time. While teaching suddenly i received a letter from Fashion Design. " How are you doing? Perhaps we could meet sometime?" Then i remembered of our times. They were magical and my heart leaped a little to fast to stop it fluttering high. 

" Meet indeed we shall, tomorrow 4pm at tea time? " i replied. So we met, and He inspired me. I started to draw again and it served me well. " Teacher you draw so well, why are you teaching us Science?" my students asked. And i was silent, for i didn't know how to reply. 

Then i started to thinking of life with Him and without, and when the day came, "Yes!", was my reply. From then onwards we committed our lives to One full of surprise. 

For love does not say " i will try" because it just does. 

and that is what I do mean. It means,

I do.

Linen

flax plant

So i am using a lot of linen for my first collection. Linen fabrics are the best. they have a life of their own. Smooth when you iron them, and they crisp however they want when you wear them. They are a favourite for beach lovers and for the tropics as they breath well keeping you extremely cool, they release moisture quickly and do not retain heat and may i add feels sooooo good on the skin. (im getting so excited just talking about it, but i must honestly calm myself down because it is a process of development that takes time) Best of all its all natural, made of flax. 

Nowadays especially in Asia, many fashion brands are just all about the trend, producing cheap clothing's with synthetic material. But i can't do that, as much as i can't produce junk food if i was in the food industry.

"Lots of hard work involved in producing linen cloth from flax plant caused its high prices. Not everyone afforded it. In ancient Egypt there was a custom to wrap mummies with linen before laying them into tombs and sometimes linen even was used as currency" - via linen beauty

I have this thing about doing things properly, plus being a village kid, i love the though of nature on the skin. not polyester, rayon, acetate or whatever else made of 'plastic'. So stay tune :)

Its going to be a very easy going, fun, light and simple, breezy collection, and with a unique twist that can be identified to be of my creation :) I totally believe that a designers work has to reflect the designer, it has to come from the heart, not just the head. A healthy balance of both organs working along side, with the heart leading its way through. If i love it, i hope someone else would too! because in the end, you are not going to be able to please everyone, whoever you are, whatever you do. :)

Anyway gotta run. off to meet high school friends, been long !

Refuse to be a Perfectionist.

Okay you see, i have this tendency of wanting to do things perfect. But the truth is, things will never be perfect. Another truth is, the more you want things to be perfect the more you won't even dare start. So i am just going to have fun and enjoy the whole process. ^^

So yes if you were wondering what i am talking about, its the collection i am coming out with now. It is a process, and i do want to get things done properly. And i do care about each process, even from testing the fabrics shrinkage, colour run etc. 

So well in a larger picture, Noelle is getting into the groove of a major transition. One step and a time! thats how i'll rolllll!. 

Another note, this week is the last week of school. woo hoo!! Im going to miss those adorable students.

- - - - - -

I feel that we go through seasons. And whats important is to keep constant our relationship with God. He is perfect, His love is, we are not. We have to be honest with ourselves all the time, trust that He is working in is continually, that we are crazy, foolish, silly, nonsensical, we are like inconsistent, and naughty. Heck it started from adam and eve. How must better can version 2013 be. I guess that is why, we need Him so much :) Its good to know of His unfailing love that nothing can separate.

a little quote of a reminder,

“The world needs to see Christians burning, not with self-righteous fury at the sliding morals in our country, but with passion for God.”  ―Kevin DeYoung

Be Brave and Courageous in God.

Yourself to Blame

If things go bad for you

And make you a bit ashamed

Often you will find out that

You have yourself to blame

Swiftly we ran to mischief

And then the bad luck came

Why do we fault others?

We have ourselves to blame

Whatever happens to us,

Here is what we say

"Had it not been for so-and-so

Things wouldn't have gone that way."

And if you are short of friends,

I'll tell you what to do

Make an examination,

You'll find the faults in you...

You are the captain of your ship,

So agree with the same

If you travel downward

You have yourself to blame

- Mayme White Miller 

- Life is faith in action. -

Remember “While you are the captain of your ship you are not the ruler of the sea.” 

All in all God is in control. Acknowledge Him always, 

Steer by faith.

Under mighty loving hands.

Relationship with God. You know how Christianity is a relationship with God? Its amazing when you start to remember that God is beside you, God is looking after you, God is holding your hands. That He is really leading you, guiding you, directing you as a Shepherd leads his sheep with his staff. That His is protecting you all the time!.

That He left us physically but not that we should be alone but that His Holy Spirit would be whispering to our hearts and mind. Leading us home and towards the finish line of Faith. In the process, slowly and surely transforming us to be more like Him :)

Thank you God for everything!

Life's lessons

5 greatest things i've learnt this year:

1. That i won't be able to do everything alone. I am not mean't to do everything by myself. Learn to let go, learn to trust, learn to believe in others. Community is important.

2. That if you want to start anything, you must desire more to finish it. That its important to have passion, to pace yourself and keep the momentum. That it would be a life long journey, and there will be lots to learn along the way, that its a marathon, not a sprint.

3. That generosity goes a long way. Its healthy to cultivate the habit and spirit of Giving. Sometimes we must be willing to part from something in order to receive something greater that may come in a different form of value.

4. That it is important to be extremely honest with yourself. To listen to yourself and your heart. If you are not honest with yourself you'll only live as a cover up or who you truly are and what you may truly give to this world. Sometimes we try to fit in, or try to do what others do, but the thing is, we are all made differently, and we will excel in different areas. So we must be wise to know more about ourselves and to trust our Maker.

We all go through seasons with lessons to learn. What are the top 5 things you've learnt in 2013?

Marathons have shown me what i am capable of doing, and taught me how to do it well. Preparation, training, listening to your body, timing, focus, prayer. And understanding your build, knowing what you can do, and that you are not like others, you won't excel by doing things the way they do it, but by how your body speaks to you and tells you.

And with all that i've learn from marathons, i shall apply it to this journey to succeed as a designer.

No the journey would not be easy, as for now, i don't even know, nor can i see the future, all i know is that i must proceed, to try, to do, to dream. To learn to grow to practice. 

Am i scared, hell yeah. but i'm excited at the same time! What if people laugh at me, think i am stupid, view me differently, think i'm crazy, see me doing what i do, and criticize me, what if they say, 'why is she doing it this way'. Well i guess,

" Whatever course you decide upon, there is always someone to tell you that you are wrong. There are always difficulties arising which tempt you to believe that your critics are right. To map out a course of action and to follow it to the end requires courage. " - Ralph Waldo Emerson

" To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment " -  Ralph Waldo Emerson.

If you are a dreamer, and you believe your dream has some significance bigger than yourself, be brave. pursue it.

----
decided to post this draft i wrote sometime back. its funny how we get more tired when we go somewhere to do something, where we don't really do anything.

A colorful promise.

the rainbow.

A band of colors against a gloom background as sunlight sips though the clouds.

As i was driving home today, there was a big fainted rainbow ahead the highway. It made me smile instantly. Such a simple delight can lifts the mood bringing joy to the soul. I was so sure that everyone else on the road was looking at the rainbow as they drove on straight with a sense of awe and peace covering them.

When you look at rainbows you just know, there must be a God. A God who loves His people. I love love love being around nature. The trees and grass and skies. They just bring you closer to our Creator. "Nature is and will always be the great teacher for the soul " said Ruskin. How true is that.

Rainbow reminds us of God's promise that He would not swipe out mankind again as He did with the flood saving Noah and His family. It paints the picture of His love towards us, His grace and beauty. A faint light glimmer of heaven on earths skies.

God said to Noah and his sons:

9 I am going to make a solemn promise to you and to everyone who will live after you. 10 This includes the birds and the animals that came out of the boat. 11 I promise every living creature that the earth and those living on it will never again be destroyed by a flood.
12-13 The rainbow that I have put in the sky will be my sign to you and to every living creature on earth. It will remind you that I will keep this promise forever.14 When I send clouds over the earth, and a rainbow appears in the sky, 15 I will remember my promise to you and to all other living creatures. Never again will I let floodwaters destroy all life. 16 When I see the rainbow in the sky, I will always remember the promise that I have made to every living creature. 17 The rainbow will be the sign of that solemn promise.

- Genesis 9:9-17

The first time leaving Malaysia.

via polkadotsaustin

Okay i remember after college, parents made it a point that i had to study overseas. I was open to anything, and i did not really bother. But the one thing i really wanted was to do something in the Arts. 

I really remember how hard it was to leave. First, i had to leave everything i had behind. The comfort of home, the familiar and friends. What life has build over the years in KL. Secondly, i had to go somewhere unknown, and at that time with no clear direction as i was not really supported to do anything Arts. I remember how tough and out of place i felt. This foreign land with people i can't even really connect with. Learning to feed myself, open a bank, get around, find accommodation and all these. The first is always the most difficult.

Somehow or other though, its when i decided to do what i was meant to do, everything suddenly feel into place. Anyway back to point. Now if you ask me to migrate anywhere, it would not really be a problem, been there done that. Plan a trip to some foreign land, okay sure. Make subway sandwiches sure. 

But everything starts from a first.

Be brave, start anyway.

I am reminded that we must always leave our familiar and comfort to grow, face new challenges, take on new responsibilities. They say, when we are most vulnerable we grow. I sometimes believe that faith begins at the end of our control and comfort. Faith begins when we step out and give God control.

How can you say you are faithful if you do not completely trust God to look after you, provide for you, care for you, be King of your life. Believing that His is truly has great plans for us.

I guess at times, we have to sacrifice our comfort and security and leap on into God's rest and total security while walking on water. God's love is greater than our weaknesses. He knows our shortcomings, He is always willing to guide us and lead us, but are we willing to listen and go.

So, be brave. take the leap, do what you must!

:)

- - - - -

When i look back, i cringe at how childish i was. My blog post from the past make me shy away in embarrassment. But perhaps maturity really comes through experiences, life lessons along life's journey, God's word and teachings. He doesn't want us to remain babes. We must trust Him :) in all in all.

Savoring time alone.

Okay if i were an animal, i think i'll be an eagle, perhaps the mini type eagle since i am tiny. But an eagle nonetheless. Because i love the skies and savor solo time. Looking up at the sky and sometimes i just forget everything else. Perhaps because it brings us to higher thoughts.

 The sky is God's canvas, everyday He paints it beautiful. 

You know how God is perfect and everything, i like how His creations are not, each unique and different, none alike. The sky is never the same, the clouds fluffiness, its color, its also constantly moving . But we humans we always want to make things perfect. Well at least when i want to make something, there is this tendency to not even want to begin because i am too much afraid that it would not be perfect, but why be so afraid. Imperfection has its beauty. We should not stop either in creating art in whatever form we are gifted in!

Every time i visit a different country, its like the pantone color changes. Suddenly when you are in Malaysia everything is more saturated with in a grey hue, spice and heat. In Italy everything is in its cobble and earthly tone, warm and fuzzy, with its green, white and red combo from their flag to food. And when you are in Sydney Australia, you just feel so free and spacious, with its fresh air and bright skies, fresh, new, casual and cool. 

Anyway back to point. God is greater than our weakness. God made us all unique, and if we are like different organ parts, lets just be the best organ we are, so that the body can function properly and healthily. Im so glad my legs let my heart does its job of pumping blood all around, and my legs does its job of walking me around, it would suck if they start to compare and try to do what each are made to do. We must be thankful for what we have because we all play a significant role wherever we are ! Lets come to term with our uniqueness and continue to do what we are good at. And i guess God will show us how to use it for a greater purpose.

Its time to stop being so afraid of starting and blundering up, at least when we start we progress, and we would learn and grow. :) Aren't we glad when we were babies we were not capable of thinking too much, if not we would probably be too much of a wimp to try to walk. 

So here is to babies and their courage! 

Good day and Good night.

Sabbath

Thank God for a day to just rest.

Sometimes i think i do not need it, but its so vital. Wanted to finish organizing my room today, fix in the shelves i just bought this morning, etc but no. Im just way too tired and is so thankful that even God made such a day where we may not do any work and just refresh ourselves.

I so want everything to be fixed up now. But i know that its okay if things take longer, i don't need to get everything done instantly all the time. Realizing how when i set to get something done, i usually will not rest until its completed, but i figured now that if i were to do things for long term purposes, i must make allowance for some things to take a longer process, and its much better if i am consistent than if i do things great and then let it all slide.

Today at church Pastor Matt Fielder was talking on Romans 7:14- 8:25. How even Paul admit to his weaknesses and sin and reminds us that we no longer live under Condemnation. As weak as we are, God's cloak of Righteousness now covers us. He sees us as Holy. We should always rid of every sin that entangles us and continue to Run Strong to the finish line. 

I have this fear that i would second guess my choices. But somehow i feel that it is the direction to take. Perhaps its like how Peter ask Jesus if He could walk on water, and Jesus said Come. And He went, but once he starts to look around, he sinks until He looks back at Jesus. When things get tough and i do not feel in the mood, or when fear comes in or i feel inadequate i want to continue gazing up at my God and drawing my Strength from Him. And to keep pressing on towards the goal.

Yes, yes.. im pretty much rambling about many things in this short post. Its time for a break on this beautiful cloudy Sunday :) Im so glad that i've decided to end the term and move on to a new chapter, even my students are supportive and excited for me ( probably they believe i am much better doing this than being a 'bio' teacher ).Though i feel a little anxious, i know it would be a great little adventure, one where i go through much ups and downs, much of overcoming certain fears, but it would be worth it. God is good and meets the desires of those who are happy in Him.

Have a restful Sabbath yourself :)

Ikea.

What i love about Ikea.
1. They have a catalog with pictures and pricing i can pre-scan and post-it tag.
2. They are DIY friendly!
3. They make things so simple and easy. Perfect for a young city person who wants something nice, reasonable and economical.

Bought a storage shelf thingy, and a table, and just put them together! but would have to get more things. I realized why i tend to get to a point of messiness. Not enough storage space. I've learnt my lesson. Every time i get something, i need to also think how i am going to organize and store it. Add more shelvings, get more files, etc. And most of all GET rid of certain things.

Rules to getting rid of things:
1. If you have not used it in 6 months and don't see yourself using it in the next 6 months, its out.
2. Its better to give than to receive and someone most probably want what you give away more than you.
3. You feel better after you've de-cluttered.

Is your room at the verge of mental breakdown too? Perhaps its time to spring clean, get rid of thing, freshen up your room and get organized :D. Its fun, but i am feeling tired now. Room is half cleaned, needs to get more shelving and storage things tomorrow. The more organized you are, the more efficient and effective you will be. So spend some time to Get Organized! 

Luck/ Coincidence/God's appointment?

wild pony at the Dolomite Alps.

1. Went into fashion school the year they got the approval to give out degree's instead of diploma's.

2. Won the Cue Fashion Design and Innovation Competition, all the finalist were supposed to have an interview but the interview got cancelled and i won anyway XD.

3. Did terrible in my final year of Uni with B-C averages, and got the scholarship to Italy XD.

4. Gave away a dress which my lecturer deemed " one of the most beautiful dress i have seen while teaching" to my model because i thought she was such a help. After that sent a photo of the dress for a competition , got selected and embaressingly had to ask the model back for the dress so it can be exhibited, was one of the 10 designers who got to exhibit their stuff.

5. had a mean houselord who kinda made me leave the student house i was in, and after the end year holidays back to Sydney i stayed at a friends place about 2 weeks before class was to begin looking for accommodation. A friend randomly messaged me asking if i had checked the student place he recommended me to, i was reminded of it and checked it out. On the day to check out that place, i actually 'bumped' into my friend on the street and he prayed for me there and then haha that i'll find a place to stay. the housemum of that place told me she will let me know the day after if my application is approved, on that day i called her more than 20 times no reply, and finally told God " I DONT CARE ANYMORE" and not a second later the phone rang from her telling me i got accepted , my faith increased knowing that God cares and He is my provider. Moved in a few days before class began :)

------

Laid down my fashion design because it didn't felt right. Prayed that i would get a job before year end 2011 and put in my heart to help teach myanmar refugee students if i had not found anything to do. On new years eve 2012 my friend asked me to go watch fireworks with them, i told them i was tired but he insisted as his little cousin wanted to see me. Okay i went! i can't refuse a kid. That night they were watching fireworks at a school and i met his Aunt who is the Lunch Provider there, and just a few minutes before new years she said " you studied fashion and want to teach myanmar kids, why don't you teach our kids, we are looking for a new art teacher " that night at bed i remembered my prayer and the rest was history.

I remember cycling back from around my house during the time of waiting for the reply from the school. and as i was cycling by, a tiny mango dropped right in front of me from the mango tree. How timely i thought it felt like a gift from heaven. I stopped my bicycle and took the tiny mango home and i ate it, it was really sweet! Perfectly riped and shared with with my family though it may be tiny! I dont know why, but it was significant for me, like this is a gift i must take it, its fruit will be sweet :)

2nd school story, i prayed i'll get a job by Feb 2013 or i'll go hunt for my own thing to do so i may make a living. On 30 January was my Interview with the school. They actually let me start work on 31 January, that is A DAY before February. and when i look at it, they usually get teachers to start on the first of a new month. Well God really does answer prayers.

And the more i come to stand firm that God is about relationship, allowing the Holy Spirit to work in us and direct us and guide us, listening to Him speak to our heart. That it is less about rules and a to do list. That we must always be Honest with ourself and God. The only way to go in life, is through a personal relationship with Him. On this journey you won't be pleasing everyone, and sometimes people won't even understand the decisions you make or paths you take. But remember you are living for an Audience of One.

Testimonies! I am sure you have testimonies too of our loving Father :) May your faith increase! He loves us! Try to write them down, and remember :) Always remember. Because usually we can't see what God is doing at the moment, but He is at work, and working on a Masterpiece. Testimonies lights our faith and strengthens our hope. We must be brave, just like Caleb and Joshua, that when God says Go, we are prepared and ready to Run in Faith.

For when we remember of God's Faithfulness and Goodness, we quench the devils lies and plans to dim our light as we continue Live out Loud in Faith.

Trust Him Everyday.

Maintaining momentum.

My friend Germaine reminded me, " don't burn out !" 

its true, passion drives, and we must keep it burning but we should not burn out. Perhaps light another candle with our fire ? 

I remember going for a trail marathon run and i learnt my mistake before the real race day. I ran too fast at the beginning not conserving enough energy to pull me through consistency for another 10km. It was a half marathon. Lesson learnt from the more seasoned runners who told me i needed to go slower and pace myself.

On the day of the marathon, i was already set to going slow. I paced myself to go at a leisurely pace the first half, letting everyone else overtake me and sprint away. And it worked, at the 2nd half of the race i had enough energy to keep up and go faster and stronger than the 1st half, while everyone starts to walk and go really slow. Listening to my body, changing my speed according to the temperature surrounding me and keeping my mind focused on the goal. Finishing my first half marathon at 2:22hrs. Not bad for a first. It was the timing one of the season runners at the park i run at predicted.

Momentum and pace is important. Know yourself, your build. Listen to your body. Start slow but steady. Keep committed to the finish line. Trust God. Always Pray. And how important is it to have a goal to reach!, I can't imagine running on a marathon that does not have a finish line that would be so silly, you wouldn't know when to stop, how fast you need to go, what you are practicing for or preparing for. Set goals , accomplish them. 

Maintaining momentum, pacing yourself and setting goals :) 

Gotta love running and what it teaches you !

RUN.

Hope in a seed.

Life is a journey,
We all have a destination to arrive.

a mustard seed

As a Christian it would be the extension of God's Kingdom.

We are already now living by His standards, His blood and His truths through faith, the world may try to kick some of its lies back into our hearts and minds. But let us continually stand steadfast in the reality of God.

I do believe that God gives us all a specific calling we will soon discover. Some of us discover it sooner, some later. Nevertheless, it would be in line and of service to His Kingdom. In this world it could be a calling in one of many area of profession be it, education, business, government, food, art, the environment, health etc. Each not more significant than the other and we should not compare but receive with thanksgiving the talents and gifting as well as ability and opportunities God gives us.

In this calling i trust we will have a clearer understanding of our goals, vision, direction and purpose. God will not leave us confused. He has giving each of us an allocated grace and abilities to be use for greatness ( however small we may view it with our eyes ). Though i am reminded, never belittle the little seeds, they grow into trees. A tree, those big tree's that gives you shade and sweet fruits where birds build their nest, come from a tiny seed, one in which not even our mind can conceive could turn into a tree if we had not seen it happen before our eyes.

Its easy to forget and be easily discouraged if we kept looking around and live by our senses and what our eyes tells us. Stop. Look up towards the Sun and grow. Dig your roots deep into the Springs and drink. I assure you, you will grow and bear fruits. To be a provider for many. A tree's life is a givers life. We all indeed all called for service. Let us remember this.

Faith. Hope. Joy.

What is the point of going through life living in defeat. Remember, you are a Child of God. and God loves His children.

a Sychamore tree

He said to them, “If you have faith like a grain of mustard seed, you may say to this sycamore tree, 'Be uprooted and be planted in the sea', and it would obey you.” - Luke 17:6

Have faith and Live by it.

Unfamiliar.

via Akiro Studios

Hello KL. Im back!

Do you realize that sometimes when we decide to do something Unfamiliar, we think of all the worst case scenario. I don't understand why we can't think of all the best case scenario. Because the worst case scenario usually never really take place, i guess neither would the best case scenario. Im talking about two extreme's to what usually takes place. 

I think back and remember when i decided to do fashion and was given the Green light to study fashion. (Being simple minded and knowing that art was in my blood and what i had to do, became very persistent) I decided i didn't want to be where everyone was, so instead of Melbourne i choose Sydney. And in Sydney i was looking at two schools, TAFE and Whitehouse. TAFE had a really long application form and questions to answer, Whitehouse's application was simple and they had an option to apply for a scholarship to Italy in the third year. 

So of course i decided on the latter, it was easier to apply for and it had its perks. The funny thing is, how would i have known back then that i would have even been worthy enough for the scholarship which i eventually received! :D 

Somehow, i truly believe we must always be brave in our pursuits. Keep on going even when things get tough. I remember i had my ups and downs during fashion school. I had my doubts and my worries. But i carried on because it was what a student does, it was what i decided and it was something i had to finish to receive the degree despite all the thinking of this and that. Sometimes i dislike how wavering my mind is, i'm learning to be more focused and committed.

The thing about when you are working and starting your own thing. No one is going to give you deadlines, or tell you what to do, guide you, its not a set three year thing. Its different. You'll have to make your own deadlines, create your own schedule and system, find mentors, and when you go through highs and lows, doubts and concerns, you have to be so highly committed to not leaving things when it gets hard. You don't have A's to get, but Sales instead. You do have Judges and Lecturers to please but Customers instead. 

Its like going on an Adventure, vs. going on a Tour with a Tour Guide. In the former, you have to create your own goals, direction, objectives, purpose etc. In the later, you are following the Tour Guides goals, direction, objectives, purpose all set out for you, which he believes you'll like and is profitable for him. I personally do not really like tours. 

Anywho, getting back to point. Its time to grow up and take responsibility. Its time to know that giving up is not an option. Its kinda intimidating sharing all this . But hey, why not. we must all Persevere in our pursuits. Be Honest with God and let Him guide you and shape your plans.

" A man plans his way, but the Lord directs His steps " - Proverbs 16:9

Their fear shall not be my fear.

People will all have their opinions. Fears of many kind. But i am not going to let the fears of others dictate what i do or don't do. Their fears that control them, will not control me. Their fear that cause them to hide and build fences around themselves, will not prevent me from going out there and build bridges.

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. - Psalms 23:4

The LORD is my light and my salvation-- whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life-- of whom shall I be afraid?- Psalms 27:1

For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline. -2 Tim 1:7

You who fear him, trust in the LORD-- he is their help and shield. -Psalms 115:11

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you." -Deuteronomy 31:6

For I am the LORD, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you. -Isaiah 41:13

Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be men of courage; be strong. - 1 corinthians 16:13

So, why do you let their fears be your fears. If you live in fear, how can you live freely, For if Christ is your King, why do you fear man. Trust God with all of your heart, mind, strength and soul. Love Him, do as He commands. Walk by faith and not by sight.

Keep the Faith. Move mountains.

We the TwentySomethingSomething.

We graduate from formal education around 21-23 years of age.

THEN WHAT?

Most of the time we will dive into work related to that which we studied for 4 years in University. With 2 options:

1) test things out, found it unsuitable and jump into another job.

a. another job that is similar, but with better pay, perks, system and people. ( may end up wanting to go job hunting again, process repeats itself)
b. leave it all behind and venture into something you love.
c. go back to studying something you've always felt passionate about.

2) enjoy it/perhaps think you have no other choice/ picture yourself climbing up the ladder, and staying there.

Most often then not we come out of University unprepared.

Its a whole new chapter, a whole new life. Time to support myself financially and be independent. Time for me to give back to my family, society an community. Situations we are in also at times propels us into certain decisions. Nevertheless, this is the common way in which things turn out for most of us.

But remember, WE ARE YOUNG. we are 20 something! The best age to explore various things before we settle what we want to work at long time :) We have the world at our feet. So lets go out, try new things, explore, discover. Life is a journey with lessons to learn along the way, trusting the Maker to always prepare us for whatever is next. But we must always be bold and courageous to do the heart thing! Be honest with yourself. And once we find that something we feel passionate about that adds value, one in which we can commit towards and work on, 

Lets work on it with all our might and heart.

The Beauty Skeptic.

Previously i had a very cynical view on beauty, i did not think of its significance nor importance. But recently i have been thinking, Beauty and Grace can only come from above. It is something heavenly to behold. Dream a world without flowers, they sometimes may seem useless, they don't seem to have much significance nor importance. Or don't they? The world would definitely be so dull and lifeless without flowers! Even a random bright and cheery flower growing at the side of the sidewalk may bring much colour to the once dull pathway.

Some people say, the gift of giving flowers is pointless, " they die anyway ". Well they live too! and while they live at least they gave something that does so much for the soul.

Flowers bring joy, happiness, beauty, spontaneous delight, aroma and healing. They bring us more than we give them credit for.

It is interesting to see how before a tree bears fruits, it blossoms into a flower and the flower dies a fruit. The beauty of the flower is like a momentary display of what is to come next, but in a different packaging, that is consumed not by sight but by taste. First we see its beauty, then we taste it. How beautiful the way God makes things! Perhaps the hope we see in the flowers, gives us the comfort in knowing the fruit would taste good. How can a flower produce something that would taste foul! Most often than not, fruits are sweet . Beauty and sweet delight intertwine.

There is value in beauty.

"Consider the lilies how they grow: they toil not, they spin not; and yet I say unto you, that Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these." - Luke 12:27

God compared beauty to the flowers! He created them to be beautiful. And beauty is a reflection of the Father and what He makes.

I guess sometimes i've felt like a flower, and did not feel like i had any significants or importance in the talents i was given. But i am proving myself wrong, i am trusting my Maker.

I'll be a happy flower.

 (So this are to the flowers out there, be happy to be one. )

Be bold and courageous.

So upon arriving Jakarta Airport this morning, i went to the information desk to ask about the taxi. ( 3 days prior my friend Michelle whom i caught up with advised me to take the bluebird or silverbird taxi for they are legit). At the information desk i requested for the bluebird and asked them the basic rate ( they told me 210 000 idr) and they wrote down the information and gave me a slip asking me to head towards taxi stand number 2. I headed that direction and was hurried by a taxi man showing his tag that said no.2 , asking me where i am going and whenever i said " bluebird" or " meter taxi" he just said " ya, ya, saya bawa awak sana". ( yes yes , i'll bring you there ).

So approaching his taxi, an avanza and it was not blue, it was silver he placed my bag behind the car, and i got in, i did not know why i did not find it suss. Anyway when i got in i looked around and asked, "where is the meter?" then he pointed at his dashboard. I was like ' huh' okay maybe its different in Jakarta ( pretty silly of me ) , Plus looking around some more, the taxi had no sign it was a taxi , he did not even have a road tax. oh Gosh i thought, what is this guy up too.

And i felt okay this guy is a bloody liar. I don't know why but i still felt calm and confident and just prayed to God spoke to him like a boss. Decided to take out my Waze and checked that okay good he was going the correct direction. 

Then upon arrival, he was throwing numbers at me and asking me to count the fair. He told me 350 000idr, then he changed it to 500 000idr, suddenly 600 000idr, i was just keeping quiet. When he reached the hotel i told him. "ARE YOU KIDDING ME. EXCUSE ME, YOU HAVE BEEN LYING SINCE THE BEGINNING. I am not going to give you that much, its only 200 000. I have asked the Airport. Don't try to lie to me. I tell you, you can be a good man and make a lot of money, just don't lie! Understand. " ( i spoke mixture english and indon)  and i repeated this in a really stern and pretty scary voice ( thanks to teaching ) and honestly, he was about to cry because he teared , and i think he got scared.

So i told him i'll pay him 200 000, and i personally gave him an extra 50 000 because i felt he must be needing it more than me. but reminded him to " PLEASE do not lie, you can be a good man and make a lot of money but first you must NOT Lie!!! .. and as i was about to leave i told him " saya akan doa untuk awak dan saya harap awak akan henti berbohong, awak  boleh jadi orang baik " ( i will pray for you, i hope you will stop lying, you can be a good man )

I hope one day he will come to that decision.

Thank God for His goodness, and all the way through the journey i just know that God is with me, heck i need not fear anything. They most probably will fear me instead. Never felt so bold and courageous in my life!

:) and HELLO JAKARTA!~

The journey of an Insane Child.

Here's to saying goodbye to being an Employee. Forever. 

Today the 1st of November 2013, marks the day i've decided to quit my full time teaching job and commit 100% to my talent and passion. On this journey i will be having much to learn, nevertheless i know it is a course i must take and commit myself towards. So why not share this ride with all of you, i guess it would be an.. adventure!

First of all, I'll have to say, I had never been good at following the rules, doing things a certain way, taking orders or choosing the safe course. Perhaps... i'll always be a rebel at heart.

Two years ago, the rebel in me decided that i should not be so self focused and therefore needed to do something a little more outside of myself, hence i laid down the opportunity i had to start a label also feeling it was not the time, so, when the opportunity to teach came along, i took it ! It has been a time off to give back to the community and the future generation, it felt good.

Nevertheless, and honestly speaking, after teaching in two different schools in the pass two years, i have come to a clearer realization and conclusion that teaching is not for me long term. As much as it is a joy to be with the teenagers, i am unable to do the same things again the following year. Routine is just not in my blood. I was just like a bird looking at the hardworking and helpful ants doing their thing and decided to join, but then again, i was made a bird and is suppose to fly ! I believe there are great lessons learnt during these times to better prepare me, as i continue to put my trust in God. So here is to being pushed off the ledge and to building my wings on the way down. 

My top 5 reasons to never being an Employee anymore. Ever:

1. I would disappoint my bosses for the lack of commitment to their company.

2. I would always want to try to do things another way which i believe is better, and so its better i start something on my own to implement my ideas.

3. Good-bye to routine and doing things i find pointless or boring.

4. My bossiness and desire to do things my way always kicks in.

5. I've got to start somewhere! The earlier i begin the faster i learn! Plus i love to learn new things!

My top 5 reasons to do what my heart beats for:

1. The more we do, the more we learn, so why not keep doing what i love and is good at, practice always makes progress! and to take it seriously.

2. I can polish my skills on many other areas i want to excel in.

3. If i desire my students to harness their talents and be the best they could be, i should lead and inspire by example. 

4. Because i don't want to look back and be someone who gave up their dreams for something safe or stable.

5. Because i think we are more alive whenever we do what our Creator created us to do. And He can fully utilize us with the ability and talents He gave us if we fully trust Him by faith and walk the waters with Him and be content with what He gave us and how He made us. 

So hear is to going on this journey and to commit to it fully and totally. No more turning back, no more chickening out! No more making Excuses. No more playing it safe.

It is honestly a frightening leaps but as the great Eleanor Roosevelt did say,

“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' You must do the thing you think you cannot do.”

“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.”

So here is to being a little Insane.

:)